So, I decided to do some internet snooping and I came across the old 990 tax forms for the 5 major football conferences and the Big East.  Before you ask, 990′s are the tax forms filled out by non-profit organizations and are all available for public consumption.  In any case, I started tracking the salaries of the Conference Commissioners to facilitate a good ol fashioned d**k measuring contest.  But never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined John Swofford was banking this much money.

Salaries via Guide Star

Now, I’ve been apart of the “Fire John Swofford” pitchfork and torch crowd for a little while so naturally this made my head spin.  For the life of me, I cannot understand what he’s done to justify his salary.

If his claim to fame is still the 2003 raid of the Big East to jack UMiami, VTech and Boston College, then the only logical conclusion I can draw is that he must have Scott Boras as an agent.  Because there’s no other way one can  be so heavily overpaid for the flash in the pan work they did yester-year.

Let’s list Swoff-Daddy’s accomplishments since the ACC expansion:

1. Short-sighted alignment of the divisions which gutted out some of the old rivalries like BC-UM, BC-VT and FSU-GTech.  Not to mention, ignoring the simplicity of North-South divisions.

2. Poorly negotiated the new TV deal in which the ACC signed over all their media rights to ESPN.  That’s right…all of their rights.

3. Failure to schedule conference games to promote the ACC’s best teams, current matchups, or rivalries.  As well as petty vindictive scheduling for schools who refuse to go along with their ill-advised moves.

4. Failure to put pressure on Duke and Wake to improve their football teams.  I’m sure they only care about basketball but if that’s the case, they should take a smaller cut of the football money.

5. Failure to leave the ACC free to create their own TV network.  With all the large markets in ACC territory, it’s hard to understand Swoffy-boy’s reasoning.

Maybe, just maybe Swofford has a trick up his sleeve.  But from where I stand, I can’t see how he can justify making 1.6 million.

SIDE NOTE:

How the hell does Dan Beebe make less than Tranghese?

You have got to be fucking kidding me.  Is our offense really still this fucking inept??  The defense did everything that they possibly could to keep us in the game, mad respect to them.  But you cannot be fucking serious!! Wake Forest is not that fucking good.  They gave us every opportunity to win this game but we just completely shit the bed.  SEVEN FUCKING TURNOVERS!! SEVEN!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH US? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?  OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES BEFORE YOU THROW THE BALL!!! LEARN TO READ THE FUCKING COVERAGE! HOLD ON TO THE GODDAMNED BALL WHEN YOU’RE RUNNING!! YOU FUCKING GODDAMNED SCRUBS.. THIS IS GODDAMNED RIDICULOUS.  And that’s not to mention the fucking penalties.. 12 fucking penalties for 139 yards.  And they weren’t ticky-tack bullshit penalties either.  They were momentum killing MAJOR FUCKING PENALTIES.  Every time we got something going we got called back on a hold or a fucking chopblock or some goddamn braindead personal foul.  And to think, I was almost getting optimistic about this year.  FUCK YOU for getting my hopes up. And FUCK YOU for your ineptitude. FUCKSHITCOCKASSHOLEMOTHERFUCKERCUNTSHITGODDAMNFUCKINGFUCK!!!!!!

Go to the Garnet and Gold Store and buy our Officially endorsed T-shirt.  Show your support for FSU and our efforts for shameless promotion and free ad space.  Unfortunately, we don’t get any kick back from these T-Shirts but at least you’ll look good.  The sports gods will thank you.

WEEK 4:

Miami @ Texas A&M

This game will be the college football equivalent of what would happen if George Foreman and Evander Holyfield decided to get back in the ring for one last go-round.   Two flabby, out of shape, geriatric former greats drooling on each other trying not to shit themselves.  I’ll take Miami, I guess.  This one’s gonna be tough to watch.

Mississippi State @ Georgia Tech

Mississippi State showed in their 3-2 loss to Auburn that they can play tough on defense.  They also showed that their offense is about as lively as Caylee Anthony or Madeline McCann.  Sylvester Croom might be turning the program around, but they still commit way too many stupid mistakes and turn the ball over with Metamucil-like regularity..  Speaking of stupid mistakes, Georgia Tech decided to hold and facemask their way out of a victory last week against Virginia Tech.  The Jackets can play with the best of them as long as they don’t have their heads inserted firmly up their asses.  Unfortunately for the Techies their heads are out in the open air only about 30% of the time.  I do think they should be able to take down the Bulldogs at home this week. It’s gonna be an ugly game marred by moronic penalties and decision-making that makes Chris Rix look like Peyton Manning.  But it won’t be as ugly as the Ms. State – Auburn game last week, that was like James Carville ugly.  It’s hard to top that.

Check out the rest after the jump. 

East Carolina @ NC State

East Carolina hiccupped a little bit last week against Tulane, and it looks like West Virginia and Virginia Tech might have been a little overrated coming into the season (especially now, with WVU losing to Colorado.)  But the ECU Pirates are still going to trounce the Wolfpack this weekend.  NC State is like Duke-bad this year.  They’ll be lucky to win 3 games all season.

South Carolina State @ Clemson

I’ll be honest, I had never even heard of South Carolina State til just now.  It turns out they’re in the same conference as FAMU.  Who knew?  As overrated as Clemson is, they’re not losing this one. (Unless of course they forgo the Football game in favor of a Drum-Off, or dance competition.)  Although it would be fucking hilarious if they did.  Go Bulldogs!

Eastern Michigan @ Maryland

After watching the Terps beat No. 23 Cal last week, it’s hard to pick against them when they’re playing a team from the MAC.  If you actually watched the Cal game, though, you’ll realize that they’re not really that good.  They tried their damnedest to lose that game in the 4th quarter.  Cal just ran out of time.  Don’t forget that in the first two weeks they barely squeaked by Delaware and then lost to fucking Middle Tennessee State.  Eastern Michigan is pretty fucking shitty too.  They got tossed up like a two dollar whore by Toledo last week and got their assholes reamed out by 30+ points the week before against Michigan State.  I’m taking the Terps, they should be riding a huge wave of confidence, but I only expect that to take them so far.  I think this game is gonna be closer than a lot of people would expect.

UCF @ Boston College

UCF is taking them down.  BC misses Matt Ryan more than Marcus Vick misses his brother’s money.

Virginia Tech @ North Carolina

I was gonna call this my upset special, but I just checked the lines and UNC is favored by 3 over Va Tech.  Damn it! I thought I was gonna be all prophetic and shit.  Anyway, I’m definitely taking the Tar Heels.  As much as I hate him for his Miami roots, you can’t deny that Butch Davis is a pretty damn good coach at the collegiate level.  It’s only a matter of time before that team becomes relevant.  And who knows?  Maybe that time is now.  I would not sleep on UNC.

Wake Forest @ Florida State

It’s finally here.  The regular season is finally starting.  It’s time to see what the Noles are truly made of.  I don’t want to jinx anything, but I think we’re gonna take this one.  It’s not gonna be a blowout like the 1AA games were or like it used to be against Wake, but the Seminoles are motivated and hungry.  The return to glory starts here! (Or if I’m wrong… the clamoring for Bobby’s head begins here!)  Either way GO NOLES!

But, I’ve noticed the trend has spilled over into the criminal-athlete spectrum because they just love trouble…and lots of groupies (see: Darren McFadden), and making it rain (see Pacman Jones), and spraying  champagne all over night clubs in Vegas (see Javon Walker), and crashing expensive sports cars then fleeing the scene (see Lance Briggs).  Not to mention guns, weed, cocaine, strippers, hookers, gambling, assaulting women, sexual harassment etc, etc, etc.

Seriously though, look at the makeover trendsetters:

AND

Now in step with the trend, Preston Parker coming back from suspension has done the same thing; cut his hair off.  Yeah, yeah. I understand the symbolic reasoning for the haircut but Preston you forgot one critical thing.  As with the others, cutting your hair off makes you seem guilty.  And, you can’t be guilty.

Preston, right now you’re the best player on the team and that comes with perks. Besides all those very, very willing horny gold-diggers hoping to trap you just in case you make the NFL study buddies…

Don't worry she just likes to know the time before she gives it up.

Very important perks like never really being guilty.  Just as Peter Warrick (not Laveranues Coles though, I hear he’s still pissed about it).  You should have left the hair long, stood on the Crimi-Nole throne, spit on the 2-game suspension and proclaimed innocence. You’re the star Seminole, act like it.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/wire?section=ncf&id=3594433

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — Move over, Miami. Florida State may have found a new trash-talking ACC rival in … Wake Forest?

Smack talk might seem out of character for the warm-and-fuzzy Demon Deacons, who have preached humility during their rise to the top of the Atlantic Coast Conference.

But they’ve beaten the Seminoles twice in two years, and those results — plus an inflammatory T-shirt, a seemingly innocuous guarantee and some good old-fashioned dislike — have transformed this once-lopsided mismatch into a full-fledged Atlantic Division rivalry.

“I really can’t stand Florida State, personally,” Wake Forest safety Chip Vaughn said.

He declined to explain why, though this isn’t the first time Vaughn has tweaked the Seminoles.

After last year’s 24-21 win at home, Vaughn pulled off his jersey and pads to reveal a T-shirt with Florida State’s logo and “unconquered” motto — only, Vaughn used a black marker to color over the “un,” leaving “conquered.”

The stunt was in the works for a while — he acquired the shirt two years ago from a friend at Florida State — and Vaughn wouldn’t say whether he’s planning to wear it again Saturday, calling it a “game-time decision.”

Look, I know you’re excited with you’re little 2 year winning streak, but please don’t forget that at the end of the day you’re still Wake Fucking Forest.  It’s honestly sad that you are a blip on our fucking radar.  I feel degraded by even having to address this issue.  But yeah, go ahead and run your little mouths while you can.  It’s adorable that you think you are anywhere close to our level.  It must feel really good to have a winning season or two after being the punching bag of the ACC for so goddamn long.

But don’t get ahead of yourselves.  The bigger you let your heads get, the sweeter it will be when everything returns to equilibrium.  It’s only a matter of time before you’re back at the bottom of the fucking shitheap where you belong, trying to figure out where it all went wrong.  Wake Forest talking shit to Florida State is like Paul Wall running his mouth to Warren Buffett.  Come say something when you’ve got 12 ACC titles and 2 National Championships.  Hell, say something when you finish a fucking season in the top ten, you little shits.  As for right now, you better back the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up.  You’re operating way above your paygrade and you’re just gonna get yourself hurt, junior.  Go the fuck back to the kids’ table and leave this stuff to the grown-ups.

New Money is Always So Fucking Classy!

Everyone is very happy about the latest AP Poll

We shouldn’t be overly happy about the latest AP Polls but with our recent fuck-ups underachievement, it’s good to see we’ve made some progress in the eyes of those bastard hard working polsters.

So if you haven’t heard yet, FSU is officially on the board at #24 in the AP Poll and #25 in the USA Today Poll. If FSU takes care of business at home against #19 Wake this weekend, we’ll still be ranked behind East Carolina, Brigham Young and fucking UTAH we should move ahead some more.  Time will tell.

This is why you never let Med students film at home testing.

I’m not going to get into the speculation of whether or not it’s her.  You can go here, here, here or here to see what people have been saying.  But Tommy Bowden’s daughter should have turned her boyfriend’s revenge tactic into a full Maxim/FHM/Playboy career.  Hell, if your cooch is all ready plastered all over the net, why not try to make some money off it like celebs do.

Anyway, feel free to get the picture for yourself.

Find more content at the main site.

I was also relieved that the university brass was smart enough to proactively sanction itself before those jerks that run the NCAA came in to do it for them.  So across the board we lost athletes, lost scholarships and fired assistants.  Consequently, we barely lost the Music City Bowl despite having only half a team, our track team still won their third straight National Championship, our women’s soccer team was runner-up in the National Championship game and our basketball team could only be saved with help from one of the ten biblical plagues.

Google Images: FSU Locust Storms = ACC Basketball Champoinship

Problem solved right? Unfortunately, not.

Now, those bastards in the NCAA say that they might impose more sanctions, though there are no new allegations.  Seriously, what the f**k!  No new findings = Leave us alone.  Forfeit games? Did you see our record last year? How unreasonable would it be to accept the suspension of the athletes from later games only to return asking for a forfeiture of games before the scandal was discovered.

Any NCAA actions against us would be tyrannical.  Stupendous.  Outrageous.  Diabolical. Unfounded.  (Yes, my thesaurus is better than yours) Screw this,…NCAA investigators you can all go munch on salty balls!

Savor the taste NCAA!

Click after the jump to catch up on what happened this weekend around the ACC (Or as I like to call it, the NFC West of college football)  

UNC 44 – Rutgers 12

Has Butch Davis turned the Tar Heels program around? Even Ray Rice couldn’t have spared the Scarlet Knights from the beatdown they received at the hands of the Tar Heels. There is still a lot that remains to be seen about this UNC team. They are off to a 2-0 start for the first time in god knows how long, but their first real test comes next week against Va. Tech. They did however dominate Rutgers in all aspects of the game with 4 INTs and a combined 38 points in the 2nd and 3rd quarters. We’ll see next week if they’re actually anything to be feared.

Maryland 35 – Cal 27

Who the hell saw this coming? Maryland played a great first half against what appeared to be an extremely jet-lagged Cal team. They woke up in the 4th and made a game out of it, but couldn’t quite overcome the lethargy that crippled them throughout the first three quarters. Maryland came out of the gate strong and capitalized on Cal’s mistakes. Great win for the Terps.

Duke 41 – Navy 31

Holy shit. Duke has a winning record. Excuse me while I go prepare for the apocalypse.

Clemson 27 – NC State 9

Don’t let this fool you. Clemson still sucks. Luckily for them NC State is fucking abysmal.

Virginia Tech 20 – Georgia Tech 17

Fresh off their win at Boston College, Georgia Tech looked to go in and grab another big conference upset against Va. Tech. And they would have been able to pull it off if it wasn’t for those meddling kids some really fucking retarded penalties down the stretch. The Hokies won the game, but Georgia Tech beat themselves. Too many stupid mistakes and too many moronic penalties came back to bite them in the ass.  Nesbitt is a beast, we gotta watch out for him.

UConn 45 – UVA 10

Wow, UVA really is as bad as advertised. I thought it was possible that maybe USC just made them look especially shitty because, well, it’s U S fucking C.. and they could probably beat the Kansas City Chiefs. But no, Virginia actually is completely fucking worthless. UConn got up in that ass, spray painted HUSKIES WERE HERE, then stepped out and left it open so everyone knows they were there. In all fairness, they probably could’ve started Diana Taurasi as QB and still beaten the Cavs.

FSU 46 – UT Chattanooga 7

I know it’s a 1AA school.. I know we’re supposed to beat them like this. But it’s hard to look past the fact that we are finally executing. Our guys look disciplined and are working together well as a team. There’s an energy around this team that hasn’t been there in a long fucking time. We’ve played a lot of games that we were supposed to dominate in the past few years just to have them end up way scarier and way closer than they ever should have been.  We’ll see what’s up next week.  For now I’m still trying to not get my hopes up. But WE’RE RANKED!!! WOOHOO! Go Noles!

"Jimbo better make me look good DAD GUMMIT!"

As Florida State trounced another team they should beat, I find that I only take solace in the fact that they actually looked like a team.  Close your eyes and think back to the last time you saw a FSU playing as a cohesive unit.  Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

Regardless, Wake Forrest is up next and ask yourself this, will I get laid after the game which team will show up now that the “preseason” games are over?  The team that has found a way to make both Ponder and Richardson look amazing all while keeping the defense sharp in 2008? Or Jeff “the Reverse Midas Touch” Bowden teams of the past few years?

"It's more than football and hairstyles..."

I figure things should run smooth.  With Lil’ Wayne Preston Parker coming back off his two game suspension for getting busted with weed and a gun.

"We both are weed carrying members of the NRA too!"

Our defense has a ton of people returning soon from that cheating scandal community test taking misunderstanding.

"We shouldda been like Deion Sanders and just not take tests!"

And our coaching staff seems to be competent.  But all other observations are purely speculative because we paid 250k (combined) to have Western Carolina and Chattanooga come take a beat down.  Yes, we needed to get our confidence up and yes, it was good for the backups to get some reps.   However, in order to prove our program is much improved, we need to put a foot in Wake’s ass!

Ebaums World Images: "Get ready Wake, we're going deep!"

We’re as guilty as anyone over here.  But you have to understand why everyone’s so obsessed with talking about the offense.  The offense has been so goddamned anemic for so goddamned long.  We’ve had to put up with the incompetence of Chris Rix, Wyatt Sexton, X Lee, and Drew Weatherford, not to mention Jeff FUCKING Bowden.  For the last seven years we’ve been the college football equivalent of the Mighty Ducks before Gordon Bombay showed up.  And it has never been the defense’s fault.

Actual Photo of Jeff Bowden Hard at Work in the Press Box

The defense has just not been the problem.  They’ve had a few rough patches, but never the absolute gross incompetence that we’ve had to endure on the other side of the ball.  Over the extended years of mediocrity the D has always been at least passable if not downright decent.  Everyone understands it’s a lot harder to do your job when the Noles go 3 and out or turn it over every fucking time they touch the ball.  So, sorry Mickey, but it’s really exciting for all of us to see our offense go out and actually do what the hell they’re supposed to do.  I promise, we’re not taking the D for granted.

A heard this guy perform this song for the first time a little while back.  He’s actually pretty good.  You can get the song and check out some of his other stuff from his Myspace page.

Google Images: Can he be replaced?

Today, the 2009 FSU Baseball Schedule was released and I know it’s way too early to speculate on how good we’ll be next season, the question must be asked; was FSU successful in cloning Buster Posey before he left?

Again, FSU will have to navigate the very competitive ACC schedule.  UNC, Wake, UMiami, UF and Virginia equals tough times for the Noles.  So, while the man-child Kyle Long (Howie Long’s son, Chris Long’s Brother) will help bolster our pitching staff, how many voodoo charms will the Noles have to wear to bring back 2008′s dominant offense?

As it’s only September, I’m only wishing for two things to happen before the season starts:

1. Jack Posey hopefully keeps his big brother’s magic cleats, and

2. Our infield defense will have miraculously gotten better.

~Updates to come~

First of all, I haven’t watched the Bobby Bowden show in many many years.  Back in the day Bobby and Gene used to narrate the highlights and give a little insight behind each play.  Nowadays Bowden’s input is limited to maybe five minutes total throughout the whole show where he rambles vaguely about various topics which may or may not be related to the game as Gene tries to steer him in the right direction to keep up the facade that he is still competent enough to wipe his own ass.  After watching him for more than a minute it’s pretty obvious that he’s gotten too senile to remember which team is which, let alone the players’ names.  So now they air the highlights with the radio commentary over them.  It’s good in theory, but whoever edited the clips must have had the audio muted while he was putting it together.  He kept cutting Gene and William off mid-sentence throughout the entire show.  It was fucking disorienting.

This was also my first exposure to William Floyd as an analyst.  And while I can’t come close to making a fair assessment yet, I thought he sounded pretty good overall.  Apparently his catchphrase is “Chop it up!“  It’s not quite as contrived and forced as PT’s “I SEE YOU…“  but I still think we can do better.  Obviously he’s referencing the Tomahawk Chop, but all I could think of was cocaine.  Personally, I think “Chop It Up!” would be a much more suited catchphrase for UM.

Chop it Up, Bro!

As far as the game goes, Ponder looked pretty damn good.  I know we were playing a 1AA school and he had weeks on end to throw, but his passes were on target and he seemed to really have his head in the game and make good decisions.  It was also nice to see our receivers actually catch the fucking ball.  His long TD was a bit underthrown, but at least he got it there and didn’t decide to dump it off to the flats or take off running and then try to do flips over the defenders.

D’Vo was a fucking monster.  I swear he was hitting Large Hadron Collider speeds on his TD runs.  If he and Preston Parker ran into each other going full blast it might create a miniature black hole.  Antone Smith looked good in his limited action, and Jermaine Thomas ran amok.  Again, I know Western Carolina is a 1AA school (and a shitty one at that) but it’s nice to dominate an opponent that we’re supposed to dominate.  I don’t think we’ve had a margin of victory like this in over 10 years.  I’m still not getting ahead of myself and expecting great things this year.  We’ve got one more cupcake left then it’s time for the real schedule to begin.. and from what I’ve seen we might actually be in a spot to contend this year.

WINS

Good to see…

…Virginia Tech win after they realized they aren’t nearly as dynamic a team without Tyrod Taylor and put him in the game.  With him, they might have been able to knock off the surprise team of 2008, East Carolina.

…Wake held up against Ole Miss which surprised me.  I still think they’re overrated but what matters is that they won.

…Georgia Tech get a road win.  Going to VT, Clemson, UNC and Geogia this season means they might not get another one.

…Clemson, Virginia and NC State bounce back from losses.  It’s a given, their opponents were powder puffs and they should have won.  But, as we see all too often, overlooking an opponent usually doesn’t end well.

LOSSES

Seriously, what the hell is up with…..

…Boston College losing at home? Yea, yea, I know they suck.  But c’mon, Georgia Tech is no better.  That aside, they had the lead going into the 4th Quarter.

...Maryland‘s offense? They only mustered 14 points again this week. Now, they’re 1-1 (should be 2-0) and they have Cal, Clemson, Virginia, Wake and Virginia Tech through the next 2 months.

…Duke giving their fans hope? They were competitive and actually had many chances to win.  But, it is Duke football and while they have a lot of heart, they don’t execute (a.k.a. horrible coaching).  Two turnovers on downs late in the game?  Whatever, Duke will get over it, basketball will be back soon.

…Miami’s offense? Don’t let the box score fool you, that game was much closer than it will lead you to believe.  UM’s defense keep them in the game 3/4′s of the way as it was only 9-3 until the 4th Quarter.  Special teams miscues and plenty of dropped passes didn’t help but kudos to the defense, I enjoyed every cheap shot they took at UF.  I just wish I could have seen someone swinging a helmet or stomping someone that was on the floor, a la the brawl at the Orange Bowl.

FSU

Ok, so we won 69-0.  Anything less would have been a disappointment.  However, this was really a glorified scrimmage to see how the team looks against outside competition.  The most important things seen: good run/pass blocking fundamentals, receivers who actually caught the ball, good freshman play and no one got seriously injured.

Best part of the night:  D’Vontrey Richardson showing how good he can be.  He’s a smart player who works hard at mastering the position.  (Oh and fuck you Xavier Lee.  That’s how you earn playing time! How’s the Baltimore’s practice squad treating you?  Playing TE I hear.)

The Noles looked good yesterday, really good.  Ponder was on point and D’Vo was a fucking beast.  I know that it was against a D2 school, but it was great to see a shutout.  It’s been a long ass time since that happened.  I would give a much more in depth analysis of the game but I spent a good three hours tailgating and took a handle of Jack Daniels into the game in my CamelBak, so my memory is a bit hazy.  I’m really anxious for all our players to get off suspension and for us to play against a real opponent so we can see what this team is truly made of.  But for now I’m just gonna revel in the fact that we fucking dominated.  Go Noles!

I just wanted to point out that Steve Spurrier’s South Carolina Gamecocks lost for the second year in a row to Vanderbilt.  That’s the SEC equivalent of losing to Duke.  I will never tire of watching this man fail.  My extreme raging homicidal hatred for the Ol’ Ball Coach has definitely subsided a bit since he left the Gators, but old habits die hard.  And really, there is almost no greater pleasure in this world than watching him throw a titty fit on the sidelines when his team fucks up.  So once again, hahahahahahahahahahahaha suck my balls you piece of rotten shit.  I hope someone shoves that stupid faggy visor up your ass.

Everyone can feel the excitement.

Is Chris Ponder prepared enough? Will Antone Smith stop falling over as soon as he gets to the hole? Can our DB’s stop staring at Cowgirl boobage and catch interceptions? Can our players stay out of bar fights (and cheating scandals…..and domestic violence charges….and the damn injury report)? Will someone ever explain why a guy gets paid to hold Coach Bowden’s wired headset (as if wireless ones don’t exist)? Most importantly, how many visiting fans will I punch in the face in drunken rage?

Yes friends, your questions and mine will be answered. No matter the results though, our nights will always end at the bottom of a beer bottle. So start training early to get your liver in mid-season shape. You’ll probably need it.

The big news around the state for this weekend is of course the Miami/Florida game.  I know a lot of the Seminole faithful are pulling for the Canes this weekend because they’re the underdogs and whatnot. As much as I want the Gators to lose, I just can’t muster the ability to cheer for Da U.  On the other hand I hope Tim Tebow gets gangraped by a pack of HIV infected wildebeasts.  So I most certainly will not be cheering for the Gaytors.

It’s the fans of both teams that really piss me off.  I don’t think there’s a douchier combination in the entire sports universe than a UM/UF game, unless maybe the Boston Red Sox were to play the Philadelphia Eagles. 

On the UF side there are two distinct types of fans, first there’s the inbred backwoods rednecks like these assholes.

I think that picture says more than I ever could conceive.

Then there’s the self inflated pompous cocksuckers who constantly trumpet the horseshit claim that UF is actually a respectable school.  They try to be arrogant and call UF an “Ivy League South” school when in reality it’s just another state funded diploma mill.  They seem to think that repeating the same thing over and over will eventually convince people that it’s true.  I’m sorry, but no matter how many times you claim that Barack Obama is a muslim or that UF is a top tier university it doesn’t make it so.

Then there’s Miami.  Every wannabe thug and halfwit waste of carbon with a fade and gold chain blaring Soulja Boy out they Escalade gots to be representin DA U, Son!  It’s all about dat 305, bro.  Yo shit be wack.  MIAMI: Money Is A Major Issue. Bro.

What’s worse is that they’re all just bandwagon assholes who never went to school there.  If they even went to college most of them are on their 7th or 8th year at Miami Dade CC.  Or they came to Tallahassee and flunked out of FSU and are now going on their 6th or 7th year at TCC.

CULO!!

So while watching the game this weekend, Seminole fans, join me in hoping for a meteor strike or plague of frogs.  And if you feel tempted to cheer for Miami this weekend, ask yourself, do you really want to be on the same side as this guy??

Holy fucking shit.  I don’t believe my fucking eyes!

http://nolesports.tallahassee.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080903/FSU03/80903023

Florida State coaches figured in a loss to Virginia Tech last season that they might have something good in Christian Ponder. They liked even more what they saw in the Texan during spring practice.

And now following a closely fought battle among Ponder, veteran Drew Weatherford and redshirt sophomore D’Vontrey Richardson, offensive coordinator has named Ponder the starting quarterback against Western Carolina.

Fisher informed Bobby Bowden, who has insisted the choice would be Fisher’s, and then told the three quarterbacks. The decision doesn’t necessarily signal the end to the Drew Weatherford Era — 33 starts and a 20-13 record over the previous three seasons.

But Fisher is certainly looking to the future as well as the present in tabbing one of his younger quarterbacks. Ponder, who graduated in 2½ years, brings smarts, better mobility than he is often credited with, an accurate arm and a good demeanor to lead the team.

I guess maybe Bobby actually passed the offensive reigns over to Jimbo like he said he was going to.. I’m in shock.  I figured he’d cling to whatever means of control he could as fervently as Mark Mangino clinging to a Twinkie. All we can hope now is that Ponder isn’t on a ridiculously short leash and he gets a chance to learn from his mistakes.  As the article said “The decision doesn’t necessarily signal the end to the Drew Weatherford Era” so we’ll see if he gets a fair shot.  But for now.. IT’S TIME TO PARTY!!!