After the Ponder bombshell dropped yesterday there hasn’t been much going on in the world of FSU Football. Everyone seems to be getting way too ahead of themselves and making ridiculous predictions about our season since the ACC bombed harder than Gigli on opening weekend. Call me cynical, but I’ll start believing we have a shot at a successful season once we perform well on the field. And I’m not talking about Saturday’s game against Western Bumfuck Egypt Community College Carolina. I’ll get optimistic once we win against a somewhat respectable opponent.
The big news around the state for this weekend is of course the Miami/Florida game. I know a lot of the Seminole faithful are pulling for the Canes this weekend because they’re the underdogs and whatnot. As much as I want the Gators to lose, I just can’t muster the ability to cheer for Da U. On the other hand I hope Tim Tebow gets gangraped by a pack of HIV infected wildebeasts. So I most certainly will not be cheering for the Gaytors.
It’s the fans of both teams that really piss me off. I don’t think there’s a douchier combination in the entire sports universe than a UM/UF game, unless maybe the Boston Red Sox were to play the Philadelphia Eagles.
On the UF side there are two distinct types of fans, first there’s the inbred backwoods rednecks like these assholes.
I think that picture says more than I ever could conceive.
Then there’s the self inflated pompous cocksuckers who constantly trumpet the horseshit claim that UF is actually a respectable school. They try to be arrogant and call UF an “Ivy League South” school when in reality it’s just another state funded diploma mill. They seem to think that repeating the same thing over and over will eventually convince people that it’s true. I’m sorry, but no matter how many times you claim that Barack Obama is a muslim or that UF is a top tier university it doesn’t make it so.
Then there’s Miami. Every wannabe thug and halfwit waste of carbon with a fade and gold chain blaring Soulja Boy out they Escalade gots to be representin DA U, Son! It’s all about dat 305, bro. Yo shit be wack. MIAMI: Money Is A Major Issue. Bro.
What’s worse is that they’re all just bandwagon assholes who never went to school there. If they even went to college most of them are on their 7th or 8th year at Miami Dade CC. Or they came to Tallahassee and flunked out of FSU and are now going on their 6th or 7th year at TCC.
CULO!!
So while watching the game this weekend, Seminole fans, join me in hoping for a meteor strike or plague of frogs. And if you feel tempted to cheer for Miami this weekend, ask yourself, do you really want to be on the same side as this guy??
Don’t you just love the uncanny way that dickhead Canes’ fans can begin and each sentence with “bro”?
Example, “Bro, I know go to FSU, bro. But bro, I just like the Hurricanes, bro.”
Too bad Canes’ fans can’t go up in smoke with the Orange Bowl.
It’s like they went to Douchebag Boot Camp.. Bro, yes Bro!
You seem like you have a lot of time on your hands. That is apparently the status of most FSU fans and graduates. Hmmm…Facinating that there is so little to discuss regarding “your” team that you have to attack two other teams to actually have something to discuss/blog. The fact that these teams have caused you great pain in the past is probably your reason for attacking them instead of going after two teams that deserve such angst; namely Notre Dame and USC.
It seems Tebow garnishes a lot of this animosity undoubtedly because he isn’t getting busted for DUI and kicked off the team or parking his SUV in a handicapped spot and getting it booted. Seems that having a decent guy around just makes other teams look bad. God forbid we have someone to look up to playing football.
I hope the anger management classes work out for you and an old classmate in Miami put me up to reading this.
Truly, I hope that Bobbie can finish on a winning note, even more than UF going to the national championship. This probably indicates I am not a rabid UF fan or just teh fact I would like to see a happy ending for an Alzheimer’s patient.
Maybe if you had gone to a school other than UF or UM you would have been able to get a job outside the landscaping industry that afforded you the luxuries of air conditioning, internet access, and reasonable amounts of free time.
Also lol at the Chris Rix reference. As if I was a fan of that douchebag. He’s probably the most reviled player in Seminole history.
You like the word douchebag don’t you? Is this the standard taunt durring a Seminole game?
All kidding/bashing asside, I do hope Bobby goes out a winner. Maybe he can face Paterno in a game and they can both bow out gracefully. Bobby after the win and Joe after one more season, bitter over the loss.
When are they going to retire Chris’ number?
Keep up the good work on bashing. This is the most elloquent site with the words gang rape I have ever seen. I would suggest creating a section just for UM news called Duh U. I am currently beside myself at the number of SUV’s driving around Gainesville with Miami flags and decals and the music blaring and fake spinners shinning in the sun, bro.