When it comes to college football, there is no team I hate more than the Florida Gators. Except maybe the Miami Hurricanes, but it’s a tie if anything. When those two teams play each other the only possible outcome that would satisfy me is if a hole straight to hell opened up and the entire fucking stadium collapsed into it. Nothing would please me more than watching both teams and their douchebag fans spend the rest of eternity in torment; being chewed in the mouth of Lucifer alongside Judas Iscariot.
As of right now, though, I definitely hate the Gators more than the Hurricanes. It’s a cyclical thing and will no doubt change sometime in the future. But with the Canes being nearly as shitty as we are and the Gators brutalizing us Albert Fish-style for the past few years, the pendulum has definitely swung in their direction. What really adds insult to injury is the media’s constant fellating of Tim Tebow.
I defy anyone to watch that video without feeling the urge to set your computer on fire and then piss on the ashes.
There’s absolutely nothing that makes me as apoplectic as listening to the media fawn over some fucking smarmy uber-pious choirboy dickhead fuckstick. I remember when they pulled that shit with Danny Wuerffel. I grew up very near to the hometown of that cock-holster, and had to endure all the fucking parades in his honor, the roads they named after him and the goddamn county wide Danny Wuerffel Day celebration. I can take solace in the fact that he failed miserably in the pros (just like Tebow undoubtedly will, unless they convert him to a TE or something) but really his failure on the field was a far cry from my desire to watch him be dismembered by rabid wolverines and then thrown into a wood chipper.
Sure, Tebow’s talented, I guess. He damn sure didn’t deserve the Heisman last year over D-Mac though and he most certainly isn’t worthy of the constant ball gargling he will be getting from the media all season long. The only hope is that someone rips his head off like the foreskin of a Filipino child. Or maybe he’ll turn out to be a gay meth-head like Ted Haggard. That would be pretty awesome. But until something like that happens, FUCK YOU TIM TEBOW, FUCK YOU UP YOUR RIGHTEOUS ASS!! I HOPE YOU GET AIDS, CANCER, AND EBOLA ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Hey billy, it’s penelope. I was googling some info about UM and randomly found your blog, which is fucking hysterical! Hope you’re doing well.
sweet! that’s awesome you just stumbled across it. ju and i just started it like 2 days ago, and have been surprisingly diligent about updating it, hopefully we keep it up (which shouldn’t be a problem, it’s not like i have anything better to do at work)
Tim Tebow is like freaking awesome!
If by awesome you mean an overrated piece of crap that will have a future of bouncing around from team to team until he realizes that the NFL stands for No Fucking Losers…then yes he is awesome…and we will all be there when he falls flat on his face of awesomeness….
Sounds to me like SOMEONE is ultra obsessed with the performance of homosexual acts on Mr. Tebow!!!
Seriously how far did you make it in CollegeFootball? / NFL football?? / Paid sports writer perhaps?? I thought so!
Why can’t you just be a good sport and wish someone well who has the talent that you obviously LACK in spades!
Chill man, you sound like you’re going to explode if you don’t get to see some homo – sex soon!
who is tim tebow?
Did a search last night for “fuck Tebow” and this was the first hit. Frick’n hillarious! Good work.
He knows he can only run against 3 or 4 good players on the field in college and knows he would get worked by 11 awesome players in the NFL…sap it up, Teblow! Tuck Febow!